i guess i should keep writing!

much to my amusement i guess i should keep writing entries here…

 people miss my love saga so unknown life… well if you only knew half of it! 

well …  where to start.  my last entry was dec 12th.  that’s a long time ago…

well i guess i could start by saying i’m back in sackville.  i have a new job.  i have the same great roommate, and a very amusing and enjoyable life.   i’m working with a man from my church, he’s an accountant.  i’m learning so much about taxes.  it’s great.  and very (unexpectably) interesting!  who would have guessed?  so that’s pretty good.  i’m still curling and have made a few pretty awesome friends there… the people are so great, and there’s just something about going out and meeting new people who all have a common interest (some may say a common talent – but if you watched me play you’d know i would invalidate that statement). 

 hm… life just seems really great.  a few weeks back (when i didn’t have a job yet) i was talking to a lady from africa inland mission and i was getting pretty excited about some possible oportunities to serve in various african countries… and then today i got an information package.  it kind of scares me at first glance… so i’ll have to come back to it sometime when i’ve got more then a few minutes. 

i guess you could say that all of the boys that were mentioned should be erased so that they are only a vague memory! 

i’ll write later!

too long…

well i must say that it has been a ridiculous amount of time since i have wrote anything. 

a few days ago i got a surprise visit from two of the greatest people in the world.  oh how i loved it.  and then a phone call from one of the other greatest people in the world!

 we’re getting ready for our cantata at church and it’ll be nice to relax, however i do really love the people and i guess i’m catching on to the music too… finally. 

i only have 7 more days of work after today.  it’s kind of scary becuase i still don’t know what is next… eek.

a month to go!

Well – yesterday – I quit my job!  Well not quit I guess, but I gave my notice.  I’m done Dec. 21st – I’m not sure what’s next  I don’t know what plans God has for me – but I do know He’ll take care of me and guide me to where He needs to be, and for that I’m truly thankful and willing.  I’ve ignored God for awhile – and so it’s time to turn back and give Him everything.  We’ll have to wait and see what that means for me!

trying to figure it out

it appear my life is not ready to settle down… which i guess is ok. 

first no africa – something i thought would give me more perspective on life – but even though africa isn’t happening, that perspective is still coming…  i’m working on figuring out what i’m built for – and what i should be doing with my life… if you have any revelation or ideas – please pass them along.

where it should be?

i’m not sure my life is where it should be.  i should love God.  and i think i do – deep down when it’s uncovered by all the other ‘stuff’ blocking it.  but there’s so much that is weighing it down – do you ever feel like that?  i’m not sure how i can make bigger, realer, or truer. 

when things are looking kind of sour people say ‘pray about it’… and i have to be honest… there hasn’t been too much praying for awhile… so how can i pray about this?  God knows how i feel… better than i do – maybe he just wants me to tell him.  but isn’t it kind of clear? 

i appreciate it when people sincerely say they’ll pray for me.  because i know it is powerful.  i have no issue at all giving money to a church or to missions.  it’s a great place to spend your time.  but there is something missing. 

i’m not going to sierra leone – even if maurice called and said were going soon i don’t think i could go.  my heart has been twisted a lot with this, and i just don’t think i trust him now as much as i did the first day i met him… which is pretty sad.

but one day i’ll understand.

 so here i am…

a circle or road?

i am so torn… do i want to stay here or not? 

yesterday was pretty good and it makes me wonder if i want to stick with ALGNT.  i was talking to two very nice, older women who have had their share of jobs and both presented very different sides – one said missions – where’s your heart?  -want to get involved with missions. 

and the other told me it’s a part of every job.  it’s a struggle. 

both so different yet both true?  i like missions – it scares me a bit though.  many think i have a good heart – and maybe i do  – but i don’t think i’m strong enough in my own faith to try and point others to faith in Christ – and maybe that shouldn’t be so – maybe i really should start working on making it so true in my life.  i’ve started on the road – but it’s so ard to take the time and give that to God.